Smiling Moon

Bismillah! I was born in Germany to a Pakistani father and a German mother. Both raised me as a Muslim to the best of their abilities - may Allah grant them Jannah! They got divorced when I was 18 years old. I then lived for five years with my mother before moving out to live on my own. My father had remarried soon after their divorce and passed away in 2019- my mother remarried later and emigrated with her husband to Turkey in 2010. Most of my father-s relatives live in Pakistan or the United Kingdom and I rarely know anybody from my mother-s side who is still alive. I talk with my mum on a daily basis- try to keep in touch with other family members- and pray to Allah for a family of my own. I am especially thankful to Allah for blessing me with the best brothers-friends I can wish for. I had been married for four years and had a beautiful little step-daughter. The marriage ended in a divorce because of insurmountable personality differences. This experience has taught me that interpersonal compatibility is as important as piety for a marriage to flourish. As a sensitive person- I made a habit of analysing my feelings and thoughts before -re-acting. I also have strong Gheerah - if you seek attention from a man other than your husband- we would not be happy together. I would love to have more than one child as I see it as a part of Islam to raise children in the way of Allah. Also- I know from personal experience how lonely an only child can be -even with friends and books-. I actually do have a younger brother but the age difference between him and me is the same as it was between our father and me. Sadly- because of our family history- I barely know him. Due to certain circumstances- I left school shortly before obtaining an A-level but Allah has blessed me with autodidactic capability and the opportunity to work with academics anyway -e.g. I co-authored a book for university and have the occasional discussion with a professor- a theologian- or another intellectual-. I also volunteer in a family and training centre as a German teacher- proofread theses- and teach social science as a tutor. Since around the age of 30 years- I actively pursue Islamic knowledge - Alhamdulillah! I had to quit a regular job as a customer service officer for business clients in a big company due to health issues -I suffer from a type of depression and standing or walking for prolonged periods of time is painful for me-. I am focusing on improving my health- particularly to fulfil my role as the provider of the family- but there is no guarantee of success. My reliance on German healthcare is the reason why I do not plan to emigrate to a Muslim country. I understand that this may be an issue but I trust that Allah is the best provider and I am optimistic nonetheless. I strive to follow the Qur-an and the Sunnah according to the understanding of the Salaf as related by trustworthy people of knowledge. My ultimate goal is to completely submit my will to Allah- free from occidental ideology and oriental tradition. Of course everyone has shortcomings and I am the first to acknowledge my own. May Allah guide us! If- after having read this far- Allah has put a positive feeling in your heart- I would gladly answer all questions you may still have.